How do you want to feel at home?



That simple word can mean so much and it can be different for each and every one of us. Comfort, warmth, joy, special moments, special people.  It’s a place many of us love coming back to.  Or perhaps reminds us of growing up in a safe and comfortable space.

But what I’ve come to learn as true, is that if our homes are not aligned with our ideal view of what ‘home’ should be, it can have an impact on our well-being.  You could feel generally unhappy, constantly distracted trying to “fix things”, feel overwhelmed and find yourself avoiding being at home.

I’ve personally been there and I understand how monumental aligning your vision and present circumstances can be. All you need to do is ask yourself 4 simple questions…

I recommend grabbing yourself a cuppa tea, putting on some relaxing music and prepping yourself with a pen and paper. But hey, whatever works for you :)

1.     When I’m home, what do I want to feel?

Take your time to truly explore what happiness at home means for you. 

What does ‘home’ make you think of? If you have previously lived in your ideal happy home, what did it look and feel like? What emotions do you want to feel when you are at home?  What aspects of home do you truly value?

You may want feelings of fun, laughter, peace, restfulness, being present at family time.  You may value space, brightness, minimalism, nature, pets, reading, sleeping, bathing.  You may want to be around fresh flowers, art, photographs, your children’s drawings, travel memories. There may be aspects of your childhood home that make you feel comfortable and relaxed.

It can be whatever feeling you wish. We like what we like, no judgement. We are all unique and happiness comes in many ways.

2.     When I’m at home now, how do I feel? 

Once you have a better understanding of what home means for you, start to think about your current living situation. 

What emotions do you feel walking through the front door?  Are there any areas of your home that cause overwhelm or anxiety? What do you currently not value about your home life? Are there any feelings you have that you would like to avoid?

You may have feelings of no motivation, loneliness, laziness, sadness, avoidance, lack of creativity, distractedness. You may feel overwhelmed by an abundance of “stuff”, anger at losing items all the time, disorganised cupboards, cluttered shelves, dirty crowded floors, uninspired walls, dark spaces, or perhaps your home is too minimal or too impersonalised. 

Whether you rent or own your home, take a few moments to reflect on this carefully and be honest with yourself.

3.     What actions can I take?

You will now be able to compare the picture of what your ideal home looks like and how you want to feel at home, against your current home surroundings. 

This can be a shocking revelation, or you could have uncovered a few simple aspects of your home that need your attention. It varies person to person. When I asked myself these questions a few years ago, I realised that my current home was in complete misalignment with the home I wanted to create.

So, it was time for action…. here are some examples for you…


Bath time is my favourite way to unwind, but I hate being in my bathroom

  • If you enjoy taking a restful bath after a hectic day, but you cannot unwind in your current bathroom, think what can you do to align this to your vision?  It could be painting the space a relaxing colour, adding new styling decorations that you love, reorganising your products and disposing of items no longer useful, or splurging on a new shower system. Simple solutions to create a space you enjoy being in and that can help you relax.

Cooking is my time to be creative and transform from work to home mode, but my kitchen drives me crazy

  • If cooking is your time to be creative and transition from work mode to home mode, but your kitchen cupboards drive you crazy from the mess and clutter, what could you do to create more order and ease? It could be organising your cupboards with stylish jars and storage for easy access to your favourite ingredients. It could be reorganising the flow of the kitchen, like moving the kettle by the mugs and the pots and pans by the stove. It could even be curating art work and motivational quotes on the walls for your transition. You can create and organise your kitchen to support how you want to feel.

I can’t enjoy time with my family as there is too much housework to do

  • If relaxing with your family and little ones is your number one priority as you come home, but you are too distracted with the mess and chaos around you, how could you be more present?  It could be creating organisation solutions for your kid’s toys, so they can be easily tidied away at the end of the day.  It could be creating a designated space for your family time, whether a place on the living room floor or a playroom to avoid distractions.  It could be decluttering a space so that your two-year-old doesn’t try to grab everything they see and increase your anxiety levels!

The solutions can be simple.  However, to find the solutions, you first have to appreciate what you want to feel and what you value about home before making those changes.  If you are not aligned, you will not feel how you want to feel. 

Life is too short to not feel joy and comfort at home!

4.     How can I keep it like this?

 Finally, the question is; how can this be maintained?

 I’m sure we have all been there.  We’ve spent hours of our precious time reorganising and cleaning an area, only to find that in a few days or weeks, the clutter, mess and chaos returns.  This is because the organisation we introduce is not maintainable for everyday life.  We have to find solutions that have longevity for our lifestyle and family members.

This could include investing in furniture, equipment or storage solutions that make the most of your space.  It’s all about efficiency and sustainability! This is a much broader topic which we will explore on our blog in future weeks.


I hope you find these 4 questions useful to understanding how you want to feel at home!

Please do let me know how you get on in the comments below.

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If you need a helping hand with organising an area of your home, contact Becky Stanton for your complimentary consultation here.

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